Just some lite humor on the political realm.
If you have any good, clean political humor to contribute
please e-mail it to me.
I came across a REALLY short address this morning, noted by Anu Garg, author of the A Word A Day mailing list: s@s.to (someone in Tonga) --only 6 characters.
Then I discovered that there are three addresses right here in the USA even shorter:
president@whitehouse.gov
vice.president@whitehouse.gov
first.lady@whitehouse.gov
You will note that these are shorter because each has no character at all!
This was sent to me by:
Richard M Wheeler
Have you heard about the new Bill Clinton golf ball? No matter where it lands, you always come up with a perfect lie.
What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages?
-- Trilingual!
What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?
-- Bilingual!
And what do you call someone that speaks 1 language?
-- American!
Here is some net humor that has been making the rounds. I think the readers of this group, if they haven't seen it yet, will get some chuckles out of it, especially the definiations of "Pure Democracy", "Bureaucracy" and "Anarcho-Capitalism"
FEUDALISM - You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM - You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM - Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as regulation says you should need.
FASCISM - You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM - You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM - You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
PERESTROIKA - You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM - You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP - You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY - You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY - You have two cows. Your neighbors picksomeone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY - You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM - You don't have any cows. The bank won't lend you anymoney to buy cows, because you don't have any cows.
PURE ANARCHY - You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHO-CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM - You have two giraffes. The government requires that you take harmonica lessons.
OLYMPICS-ISM - You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of shrilling violins and "state of the art" montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant.
One of the prooblems with Washington is that it's always mighty eager to lend you a helping hand to get across the street, but then it won't let go when you want to walk around the block on your own.
Congressman Nick Hanfli
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer: 1870-1943
American publisher, writer, socialist leader
The President, 1st lady and Al Gore were on Air Force One when it crashed. They went before the judgement seat and God said, "Who are you?" Bill answered and said, "I'm the president of the US." God said, "Who are you?" Al Gore said, "I'm the vice president of the US. Then God asked, "And who are you?" "I'm Hillary and why are you sitting in my chair?"
President Clinton was in Arkansas visiting. At the end of his trip, he was walking back to Air Force 1 with a baby pig under each arm. The Marine at the end of the ramp saluted and said, 'Sir! Those are nice pigs Sir!' The President replied. 'Son, these ain't pigs, they are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea.' The marine looked puzzled for a second and said, 'Sir! That's a fair trade Sir!'
